My Dad

My Dad, brother Rusty, me and my brother Greg.

My Dad

Whenever I talk about my dad........I always say my dad. Sometimes I say Grandpa Clawson and sometimes Dad but mostly I say my dad. My Dad was Wonderful!!!! He was loved by all who knew him. He accepted people for who they were and never judged. His life was not any easy one but I know he was happy. He was surrounded by family and friends that loved him. I could not have asked for a better dad!! I am so thankful that he knew this when he was alive. I have no regrets. We were very close and he knew how much I loved him and he also knew how much his death was going to effect me. Sitting around my kitchen table we had many opportunities to talk and talk we did. He shared his thoughts about his life with me. He told me to "remember the good times" but it is so hard to remember the good times without being sad. He died in 1998 as I have probably said before and it is still very hard on me at times. The last 2 months have been especially hard and I am not sure why. Maybe May being Mother's Day (my mom died in 1968) and June being Father's Day has trigger it. I just have moments when I miss my dad so very much. Father's Day is Sunday and if your dad, daddy, father is alive.......don't forget to tell him how much he means to you. If you are not on the best of terms with you dad, you may want to take this Father's Day to become closer.....because once they are gone it's too late.

Why Not?

I want to respond to the continued whining by so many that we cannot raise taxes during this difficult time. I say why not? As a school teacher my taxes have been raised a number of times in the past year. We just do not call them taxes. The state furloughed me last year; that cost me $350.00. I will not get my step-raise, which we receive for each year of experience, $70.00/month. I will not receive the pay promised for improving my students learning each year, a minimum of $750.00. Now the legislature is talking about another furlough this year, another $350.00 at least. Therefore, in the last year my “taxes” have increased at least $2,150.00 or $180.00 a month. To those that say that I should be happy I have a job I am but I have worked long and hard for this job. I have earned it; it was not given to me as a gift. On the other hand raising the property taxes $0.05 would cost about $7.00/month on a $200,000 house. I wish somebody would explain the math to me.

This was written by a friend of mine, John Reseigne, who is a teacher at my school. What do you think? All comments are welcome...pro or con.

OREO COWS

My daughter, grandson, husband and I rode around and discovered these cows. Aren't they cute? My daughter thought they look just like an Oreo cookie! Anyone know their real name?

Notes Taken In 1990

I took the following notes while talking to my dad one day. He died in 1998. I am sure most of this will not even be of interest to anyone other than my family.

The house my dad lived in while growing up in Nebraska had two bedrooms upstairs. The girls shared a room and the boys shared a room. One bedroom downstairs was for their parents.
My Grandma ( his mom) use to heat some type of irons and put at the bottom of the beds to keep them warm.
The bucket that they used to go to the bathroom in was frozen many winter mornings.
My dad went to school from first to eight grade in a one room school house. He got glasses when he was in the fifth grade. He got very sick in the 11th grade with Scarlet Fever. He was out so long and got so far behind that he never went back. He finished his high school education after I was born and in grade school.
The teachers sometimes live with my dads family.
After the 8th grade he had to go away for high school, in Curtis, Nebraska.
Grandma (his mom) use to read stories or play the piano at night. She played the Black Hawk Waltz. I use to call this the wiping song because she seemed to wipe her fingers over the keys. It wasn't until years later that I even knew the name of the song.
In 1948, Grandpa and Grandma ( my dad's parents), my dad, my Aunt Alta, Uncle Delbert and Uncle Charles moved for Nebraska to LA, California. My dad was 22 and his youngest brother Charles was 7 years old. My dad and Uncle Delbert drove together. My dads oldest sister Gen and her first husband Harry already live in CA. His older brother Albert was in college in Lincoln, Nebraska. His younger sister Sylvia was in college in Kearney, Nebraska. His younger sister Zella was married and lived in Lincoln, Nebraska.

My dad worked at a gas station and my mom worked at a movie theater near by, when they were very young. My mom would sit on a bench at the bus stop and my dad would see her sitting there. One day he asked her if he could drive her home. That was the beginning.

My dad tried to in list in the Navy but was drafted in the Marines.
The first 6 months of my life he was in the service.

Our house in CA cost $10,000. $250 down and $67.50 a month

I have more notes like this packed in boxes. It's fun for me to go back and read them from time to time. I wish I had asked more questions when my parents and grandparents were living and that I had written more down. If your parents and or grandparents are still living be sure to ask and write down any questions you have. I wonder how many people do this.

Parents Make Sure Your Boys

Learn to Cook

Beauty Amongst Destruction

Even though our front yard was destroyed by the state ..........Beauty has still managed to come through!

First Fish

My grandson caught his first fish!!! He caught it all by himself. I think that's pretty good for only 3 1/2 years old!

Memories About My Parents

I received this letter several months ago from my Aunt. It means the world to me.

I was thinking about life before you and LynDel were born a few days ago and I’m not sure I’ve ever told you about times I spent with your Dad & Mom before and after I married Uncle Del. If I have, I apologize for the repeat.

When I met everyone years ago at a family picnic in Griffith’s Park, I was immediately accepted and I liked them all very much. Your Dad & Mom were very nice to me (a17 yr old who was enamored with Uncle Del) and Uncle Charles was especially fun. He was like the brother I never had. That was, what was to be, the beginning of a lasting love for the Clawson’s I met that day. Aunt Alta and Uncle Joe were there too. I remember spending Thanksgiving with Dad & Mom and then at Christmas there was a time of sharing as well.

The following year your Dad joined the Marines and Uncle Del went into the Naval Reserve. This would have been 1952 I believe. When your Dad was in Boot Camp at Camp Pendleton Uncle Del, Dad & Mom Clawson, your Mom and I drove down to see him. Unfortunately it was raining that day and how it did pour. We had to sit in the car and eat the nice lunch that we had brought. But that was O.K. we were glad to be together. From our vantage point we could see the tents that these Recruits lived in and was I shocked to see a 10” high space, from the ground up, all around each tent. Talk about automatic A/C that was ridiculous. Your Mom wasn’t thrilled with it at all. Your Dad had a bad cold that day and I’m sure that was the reason. Probably a lot of the other Men had them as well. What the purpose of it was I’m not sure but I suspect it had something to do with their strict standards and wanting “tough” men in their outfits. Your Dad survived it but to my way of thinking it wasn’t necessary. (but what do I know ) Uncle Del didn’t have that kind of conditions to live with. He had lots of strange things to do but that one still stands out in my mind after all these years. We had a great day in spite of the weather and I know your Dad was glad to have us there. We must have been a sight, all of us squeezed into that car but we did fine. Uncle Del just reminded me that a man from the base was also with us in the car. (we had fried chicken, potato salad & beans among other things) We steamed up the windows too .

Another memory is of meeting your Mom for lunch downtown. We both worked down in the same area but at different places. (Aunt Alta & I worked in the same building at one time) At times I would go home with your Mom on a Friday Night and spend the night. (after Uncle Del had been called up from the Reserves to active duty)We’d have such a good time. They had this cute little house that was behind another big home in LA. Your Mom & Dad were married before us of course and when Uncle Del was called up, your Dad returned the favor of taking me to see him when he was in Boot Camp in SanDiego. Now picture this, he only had a weekend pass and he’d come up on Friday Night, drive me, plus you Mom, to San Diego on Saturday, then have to return to base on Sunday. He was stationed in Barstow at that time. Talk about a lot of driving!!! I’ve often wondered how that set with your Mom. I’m sure she wasn’t always thrilled but I don’t remember her making any remarks.

Remembering the Wedding: when we were married, your Dad & Mom stood up with us as you know and the only regret I have is that we didn’t have the guys wear their uniforms. That would have been special. But we were young and dumb. Before the wedding, your Mom was a help to me. We talked of many things on the nights I spent with her and she helped me find someone who could lend me my Veil, as her dress didn’t have one. She was already pregnant with you by this time and we weren’t sure she could get the dress on she was to wear as the Matron of Honor, but she squeezed into it. It was an interesting afternoon and evening. The night before, Uncle Del and I had gone out for a Milk Shake and I spilled some of mine on my Coat. I had to take it to the cleaners (as it was the only one I had) and put in on a rush to get it clean before the Wedding. We made it but I wasn’t sure at the time of course. Another detail was the hall we were to have the reception in wasn’t cleaned when we got there so who do you suppose did it, the 4 of us. And, it that isn’t enough, there was no ice for the punch when all got set up sooo your Uncle went after it (before the wedding and held it up a half an hour) But all went well after that and we got “hitched”.

Another thing your Mom and I did together was our pregnancies. I proceeded to get P.G. right away (although we weren’t planning on that) so your Mom & I went to the Naval Hospital together. I can’t seem to remember where it was but we thought it was FAR away. It makes me laugh now as we are so spread out all over this area as a family, an hour drive is nothing any-more. Your Dad had gone to Japan by this time and I was living in an apartment by myself in LA. When Uncle Del couldn’t come home I’d go visit your Mom. I worked till the time we could get a place together in SanDiego which was August. (You came along the month before and your Mom was busy with her new “Baby Girl”)


I really treasure the time your Mom and I had together. She informed and guided me thru things I wasn’t too sure about. Our lives changed after I moved. I had a new way of life to get used to living in Naval Housing and your Mom had to be a Mom without your Dad for a while. But we both got thru it O.K. What an experience that was. But that is another story.

When we both were no longer Service Men’s Wives, and got back into close proximity again, we became close as couples and as you girls grew up you spent time in our home and we played lots of cards in your parent’s home. The only way I can remember any of these things now is when God prompts me. I look at old pictures but can’t conjure up the day they were taken. But life goes on and new people come into it but the one constant that I know of is God. He Never Changes. I’m so glad He brought your Parents into my life. They were neat people. Parents are a treasure among treasures. Yours and my Parents are gone but the memories linger on. We both have our own families now and memories to build with them. We have friends who come into our lives and they deposit memories as well.


Love to you and yours, Aunt Barbara

Mother's Day 2010

Oh what a beautiful Spring day here in NC! I had a wonderful Mother's Day with Angela, Emily, Bryson and Gerald. We had a delicious steak lunch at Lonestar Steak House. Then back to my house for dessert. Emily made some type of chocolate truffle dessert. It had chocolate brownies, pudding and Snickers bars with whip cream between layers and on top. Heavenly!!! Then I opened my gifts. Two new Pandora charms from Emily....a kangaroo with baby and a orange (Bryson's favorite color) flower. From Angela I received the latest Nicholas Sparks novel The Last Song. Perfect gifts for me!!! I couldn't have asked for a nicer day! I felt truly loved!!

Remembering My Mom

The memories today are so hard
to bear,
As sharp as if it was today
not years and years ago.

The pain today is so hurtful,
As if it was today
not years and years ago.

I cry out in rage for what
could have been, but
never will be.

I wish I could go back in time,
Feel the love, touch, caring,
smell, the Everything
That once was,
That never will be.

Life has played a dirty trick
on me.
Will I ever be able to forget?
No not forget.

Will the pain ever be
not as great
as if it was today
But years and years ago,

That I lost my mother!

Written July 4,1986 We were living in an apartment while waiting for our house to be built.
My mom died in 1968. I still think about her almost everyday. I was 15 years old and my brother Greg was 6 years old.

Am I Going Green? ~ It's a Start

I must admit ~ please don't hate me ~ I have not been into recycling. So I am very proud of myself today because I bought my very first reuseable bags. I only got 2 because I didn't really know if I would like these or not. I had seen some different ones on the Internet and my daughter has another kind. Plus, I just really wasn't sure how many to get and I think I might want a variety. My daughter has one that her mother in law got at Trader Joe's that is so cute, so I think I will go try to find one like it. My bags are not that large but hold tons of groceries.

Everyone has to start somewhere ~ I am starting with pretty reuseable bags!!

When Will They Stop

Does anyone know when these HOT FLASHES will END? I am so tired of them!! One minute I am freezing.......my husband likes it cool/cold in the house and then next I am burning up HOT!!

Maine 1995

My husband and I were very fortunate that we have taken 2 or 3 month long vacations. I thought it would be fun ( for me anyway) to look back on these trips. I thought I would divide my posts by states. Gerald said 3 month long vacations.

Day 22 ~ Ellsworth Motel ~ Ellsworth, Maine ~ one double bed, no air conditioner, a fan and a small bathroom $47.08 AAA

Day 23 ~ Checked out

Acacia National Park on Mt. Desert Island $5.00. We drove the 27 mile loop road that connects Acadia's lakes, mountains, and seashore.

Sand Beach ~ partially formed of shell fragments. It's the only sand beach in Acadia National Park ~ all the others are pebbles and rock. On the right were large cliffs and boulders with seaweed and barnacles.

Thunder Hole ~ waves crashed into a narrow chasm and exploded in sound and spray.

Otter Cliff Otter Point, Fabbri ~ we stopped for a picnic lunch.

Our next stop was to look at a bridge made out of stone. All around it were millions of mussels and snails. It is chilly out.

Jordan Pond, Cadillac Mountain ~ at 1,530, it's the highest point on the US Atlantic seaboard. We drove to the top and then walked around the summit. The wind was blowing about 40mph. It was a dense fog with occasional clear spots. We could see Bar Harbor. Within 2 to 3 minutes conditions could be extremely foggy or clear.

Stopped back at Thunder Hole

Bucksport, Maine ~ $42.80 AAA 2 double beds, no air conditioner, a nice sized room.

Day 24 ~ #1 S ~ crossed a high suspension bridge over Penobscot River

Searsport ~ took a side street to view Penobscot Bay ~ crossed over Penobscot River ~ mountains and tress all around us

Cameden ~ a seaside town nestled beneath the Camden Hills. We walked a little and went in a wood shop called Once a Tree. Then we walked out to a harbor in Camden Bay and saw a fleet of schooners.

Gas $1.19 a gallon

Freeport ~ home of LL Bean ~ both sides of the streets were lined with stores. First we went to LL Bean which is open 24 hours 365 days a year. It had 4 levels and we spent a long time looking around. Then we went to the Levis store and looked around there. In the area there were more than 100 retail shops and name brand outlets. Stopped at a stand and got a hot dog. My hot dog was long and skinny and the buns were strange looking. The top and sides looked like regular bread folded in half and the bottom was like and end piece of bread.

Portland ~ We drove around the Back Cove on #1S. Portland is the largest city in Maine. We drove though part of the downtown area.

Saco, Maine ~ Eastview Motel ~ $58.85 AAA nice room with 1 double bed

Old Orchard Beach ~ shops and more shops and food places

Cascade Restaurant ~ I had a whole lobster, salad, roll and baked potato $9.95 Gerald had sirloin tips, salad, rice and a roll $9.95

Anthony, our waiter had to show me how to crack and get the meat out of the lobster. Messy! Had to were a bib!!

Day 25 ~ Cascade Restaurant $4.99 each for the buffet

Kennebunkport ~ We saw former President Bush's vacation retreat. It overlooked a rocky inlet. There were 3 different houses on the property and 1 was larger than the others. Two limos were in the driveway and about 3 other cars and also 2 bikes. While we were there we saw Barbara Bush and her dog walking. Gerald reminded me that Mrs. Bush waved to us!!

Qgunquit ~ beach ~ very small with thousands of people

York ~ beach ~ miles upon miles of cars parked at meters

Maine was absolutely breathtaking!!! I wish that I had been more descriptive in my journal. Look at the gas, food and hotel/motel prices. They sure have changed.

Happy Easter

Past and Present ~ Me 1959 and my grandson 2010

My Anti - Depressant Drug of Choice

My Grandson

Twelve Years Ago This Month

A million times we've needed you
A million times we've cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.
In life, we loved you dear,
In death we love you still.
In our hearts you hold a place
No one will ever fill.
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn't go alone,
For a part of us went with you
The day God took you home.
God saw you getting tired
And getting better was not to be.
So He put His loving arms around you
And whispered, "come with Me."
With tear-filled eyes we watched you,
Suffer and fade away.
Although we loved you deeply
We could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
Hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove us
He only takes the best.
We thought of you with love today
But that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday
And the day before that too.
We think of you in silence,
We often speak your name.
All we have now are memories
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake
With which we will never part.
God has you in his keeping-
We have you in our hearts.
A million times we have missed you
A million times we have cried.
If love alone could have saved you
Then you never would have died.
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn't go alone.
For a part of us went with you
The day God took you home.

In Memory of my Dad

I wrote this in 1998 by taking several different things that I found in news papers and putting them together.

Bambi Gets Lost

The simplest things really do make me happy!! When my girls were little I use to read to them every night and one of their favorite books was Bambi. I thought I had saved it but I never could find it and then about three weeks ago I saw what I thought was a book just like it on Maxine's book shelf. Wouldn't you know it......It was THE book....not mine but one exactly like mine that I can't find and Maxine said I could have it!! The minute I started reading it to Bryson, it was like I don't know all these special feelings came back!!! So thank you so very much Maxine for giving me Bambi Gets Lost!!!!!!

Look What Our New Camera Can Do

Yesterday my husband came home and surprise me (he said Us) with a new camera!! Look what it can do!!! This "bad bird was caught in the act" eating the grass seed my husband put down last weekend. The distance was about 60 feet. I thought this was awesome until later on that night he came it with the Moon Picture. So how far away do you think this was?
Gerald said to be sure to enlarge it so you can see the detailed craters on the top. Also, check out the right side.....looks like a navel orange.

Week # 8 Healthy Eating and Working Out and a Wii Question

This week I have done very well. I think this new program at work has helped give me more motivation. I lost 1. 8 this week!! I hope it shows the same tomorrow afternoon at my meeting. Update ~ 2 pounds

I didn't workout this week. I just can't seem to get in the mood. Maybe I need something different.

So I am thinking about getting something to help me get back into the workout mode.

I'm just not sure what.

I have heard about the Wii Dance and the Wii Biggest Looser ~ not sure if these are the right names. Have you heard of these? Which one is the best?

Update ~ My husband is so sweet he just came home with the Wii Dance! I will evaluate and let you know next week.

Here Yesterday! Gone Today!

Before They Removed Our Trees

Removing

Removing

After but still not done

23 Years of Trees Gone in a Blink of a Eye. When we bought our property 23 years ago it was and old abandoned farm house with 1 tree on the front half and the rest was just dirt and shrubs. We spent days picking up glass and bottles because in the olden days some families buried their trash on their property. My husband spent weeks planting trees and landscaping our yard. Now because of an interstate coming near by, the state is having to reroute power lines. Guess where they are putting them?? Across our front yard and we could do absolutely nothing about this!! Yes, they gave us some money...but it was no where near enough to pay for all the work my husband put into our yard and plus now the tress are gone and our yard looks terrible!! I am trying not to cry. Oh and we still have to pay taxes on this land for the rest of our lives for the benefit of the Power Company! You may think you owe your land but you Don't!!!

Weeks # 6 and 7 Healthy Eating and Working Out

Healthy Eating ~ Lost ~ 1.2 pounds for a total of 6.6 pounds. To say that I am disappointed would be an understatement! I was hoping for at least a 2 pound a week weight loss. Thought that by now I would have lost around 14 pounds.

Working Out ~ Crawling around on the floor and dancing with my grandson

New Plan ~ Just started a program offered through my work called Eat Smart, Move More, Weight Less. This program will teach me the skills needed to change my eating and physical activity patterns. It sounds very exciting!! I am sure that most of the information I already know but it will be presented in a different way. The class is every Monday for 15 weeks. Hopefully this will give me some motivation to do what I know I am suppose to do!!

Have you ever used this?

For a year now we have been having a problem finding Wax Paper. Ever heard of it? Ever used it? The young girl at the grocery store....around 30.... told my husband she had never used Wax Paper and thought maybe they didn't make it anymore. We have use Wax Paper forever!! Mainly we use it at Christmas time when we are doing a lot of baking and this is when I would miss it the most. We also use it to cover stuff in the microwave and for various other things. So tell me do you use wax paper? If they stopped making it would you miss it?
Or are you like the young girl and have never use it?

If You Wait Long Enough

Many many years ago, around 1975, I took a knitting class. My mom had taught me how to knit when I was a young girl. However, I didn't know how to cast on or bind off or anything else. So that's why I took the class. That was so long ago I don't remember much about it but I know I did enjoy taking the class and learned a lot. My project was an afghan with each square a different pattern. I choose the olive green and light green colors that were very popular during that time. Oh!! I couldn't wait to see how beautiful it would look laying over the back of my couch. I worked on it and worked on it and worked on it. I put it down for months and then I would pick it back up and work on it some more. Life goes on.... I did other things....different projects etc. but had put away my afghan and never finished it. One day my Aunt Nora and cousin Lynn from New Jersey came to visit and I was showing it to them. My aunt suggested that I just finish it and not keep making the squares...just finish it with as many as I had already made. So I did as she suggested and with the help of a co worker who sewed all 42 ....8x8 squares together, I had at last my finished afghan.!!! 30 years later and the colors were once more back in style. So I guess if you wait long enough most things truly do cycle back with time.

Week # 5 Healthy Eating and Working Out

Wow! I have lost ~ are you ready ~ .2 What is that anyway? A friend said it was a 1/4 of a stick of butter. I thought I had done really well this week. Apparently not!!! I have NOT had chocolate and I have NOT pigged out. So what did I do wrong!!! I am HUNGRY!! So I have a plan now ~ I am going to (should have been doing the whole time) write down everything I eat and I am going to count my points. I am also going to increase my water intake (should have been doing the whole time).

Working Out~~~~~~ ZERO ~~~~~ I have to get back to using my Wii!!

Wish me luck!! I have never had this much trouble losing weight!!

Gone But Not Forgotten

Around 21 years ago a good friend of my husbands died He died to young and would only be in his sixty's now. I have been thinking a lot about him lately......wish he could have lived to see our girls grow up and would love for him to meet our grandson, what would he be doing now. I wrote the following poem the year he died which was on Valentine's Day.







A friend has died!
But everyday we see him in countless ways:
His laughter, wit, and silly grin
All these things remind us of him.


Taken away so suddenly,
Was such a shock for you and me.
You were with him in the end
Always, forever, a caring friend.


You grieve so quietly, silently,
While I grieve for all the world to see.
Each of us in our own special way
Will never forget that tragic day.


Our life goes on; it seems the same,
The impact of this will always remain.
A friend has died,
But everyday we see him in countless ways.

Written in memory of Ed Arthur~February 14,1989

"Why" Because She Told Me No

The other day we picked up our three year old Grandson from daycare. While I was zipping up his coat he looked over at a cute little blond hair, blue eyed girl and said "I don't like her". I said, "that's not nice, we are suppose to like everyone". My curiosity got the better of me so I asked him....Why? He said "because she makes me sad"......Picture my little grandson with a sad look on his face. So then I said, "Why does she make you sad?" His quick reply was "Because she told me NO!" Grandpa (my husband) who was standing next to us said "Get use to it buddy ...You will be hearing that for a long time"

Week #4 Eating Healthy and Working Out

I am so excited!!! I lost 2 pounds this week! I am on a roll! This week I made very wise choices but I was by no means perfect. My eating will never be perfect but really who does eat perfect. Even my friend Linda who is a very healthy eater doesn't eat that way all the time. So I am just satisfied that I did the very best I could do this week.

Working Out ~ No I did not but I am really not all that upset about that. Some how I hurt my knee and I was having trouble just walking. This might sound strange but in the past I have lost more weight not working out until I've lost almost all of my weight.

A Day in the Snow

Gramme(me) and Bryson

Bryson making a Snow Angel. No one knows where he learned that.

Sean and Bryson fell off the sled!

Emily, Sean, Bryson and Grandpa

We had a wonderful day in the snow with Sean, Emily and Bryson.

Snow 2010

The First Snow of 2010

Bungee Jumping

Bryson ~ 3 years old ~ had a fun time Bungee jumping at our local mall!