Saturday, September 11, 2010

From a Son-in-Law’s Perspective

Posted on Gayle's blog by her husband, Gerald.

I certainly have heard lots and sure many others have told or heard stories of arguments, disagreements and just plain, I can’t stand my in-laws. I think this sentiment goes in both directions and for the life of me can’t understand why. Friendship or Relationships aren’t just thrown out at you; it is something that requires just a little work on both sides.

I was married in 1970 at 17 and early on, I think by my nature just automatically befriended my In-Laws.

Sure, no friendship will be with out an argument from time to time but a friendship like a marriage is what you make it. He treated me well and he deserved no less.

This is an attempt to honor a man that I liked, loved and admired like a real DAD. I am sure my father-in-law Gene Clawson was the type of man that everyone wants to have as an in-law and this speaks to his character and personality.

These are a few things that I remember about Gene.

First, he earned my respect and friendship early on and always treated me good.

He was enemy to no one and could strike up a conversation with any stranger.

He had a knack for telling stories especially those of his childhood. They were worthy of print.

I remember family reunion and other events where the kids were drawn to him like a magnet.

He was always willing to help me on a project I was working on.

He was not a rich man and would give you his last penny.

The times that really stand out, were that every Friday evening Gayle and I would go to his house and visit. This was a routine event and was never dreaded; in fact, it was one event that we looked forwarded to. It wasn’t a luxurious home but it had most all that he needed, even though it needed and required lots of maintenance. We sat around on his glassed in porch going over the things that took place that week and revisited old stories. later when it was time to eat we would go to one of several of his hang outs, normally McDonalds’ where he had many friends and knew everyone. Most nights we got our moneys worth drinking cup after cup of coffee while talking.

Going to his house was a fun and relaxing way to spend our Fridays nights but no more. For many months after his death on 3/22/ 1998 I could hear a truck coming down my road and immediately think Gene is here only moments later to realize that no he will never be back. This would stir up lots of emotions and sadness, knowing that those good times were gone forever.

Twelve years later, there are many times where Gayle and I will be sitting around and say “Gene sure would have liked this” or “sure wished he could have met our grandson”. These moments would more times than not get us reminiscing about those good times when we would get together with him, doing nothing more than simple talking and loving every minute.

He was a good guy, good Dad and good friend. Wow, we still miss him today!

34 comments:

Snuggle Wasteland said...

I think it's wonderful that you loved your in-laws so much. I hope my future DIL's feel the same way someday.

Blasé said...

Everyone can't relate with the relationship you had with your inlaw. So, you were very fortunate. Enjoyed the reading.

Brysons mom said...

Grandpa Clawson was a wonderful man. I can remember times when we went to the place he had at the Lake. You and dad would drop me off at his work, and we would pile in and head up to the lake. I can also remember some saturdays going to work with him and sorting the mail. I miss him so much and just wish he was still here. Every time I left I would tell him I love you Grandpa Clawson and give him a hug and his response was "I LOVE YOU TOO, SWEETHEART" to this day I can still hear him saying that. One day we will meet again in heaven and a great big hug and kiss is what I will have for him.

DJan said...

I never knew my father's father, and my mother's father died when I was very young, so I never had any of this in my past. I think you are very fortunate to have shared so much with him. Thanks for the post.

Kat said...

This is the second post I've read today that brings thoughts and memories of my own lost mom flooding back to me. I love it. Great post.

That corgi :) said...

what a great tribute for your father, Gayle, through your hubby! I am glad you posted it; got to learn more about that special man you called "dad".

betty

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

This is so sweet. You're very blessed to have had such a special relationship.
xoRobyn

Anita said...

I was trying to explain to my daughter today, some of what you've said. She wanted to go somewhere an hour away, and it was not convenient for us to take her. I told her and her sisters to enjoy being with family. She stayed mad for awhile, but my other girls, my husband and I have enjoyed being together today...cleaning a little, resting a little, talking a little, eating, etc. None of us showered and dressed (we will tonight!).

Talking about your father-in-law adds to my "family day" even more!

Thanks.

I know you and Gayle miss him a lot, but your stories of him will open other eyes. :)

The Church Lady said...

That is such a nice tribute to your dad by your hubby. He sounds like he was a very loved man!

Gigi said...

Gerald, it's nice to finally "meet" you! I love the stories I hear from Gayle (and you) about family. You are so very fortunate. Count your many blessings. I can only hope that my son has such memories to share one day.

Brian Miller said...

you know...i bet it was really good for her to read your words today as well. he sounds like an amazing man...and i am glad you remember him so...thoughts and prayers today...

Kathy said...

How beautifully said and what wonderful memories. I loved my in-laws too. I started dating my husband when we were 16 years old and never once did I ever have any kind of disagreement or argument with either of them. They were good to us and we were good to them. We were all a team. I do wish they both had lived longer so they could have seen how wonderful our children are and soon our first grandchild. I think about them often and find comfort knowing that they are watching over us from somewhere all of the time.

Ann said...

What great memories you have of your father in law. Treasures stored in your mind to bring out when you miss his presence. He'll live on through your memories.

Sandra said...

You certainly described a terrific man, one who will always be loved and always missed.

The Blue Zoo said...

He sounds like a great man. I think its wonderful that you all had a great relationship.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful and full of love!

Anonymous said...

Wonderful and full of love!

Lynette said...

First off, hats off to Dear Hubby there. It is so nice to have a guest post from The Man. Next, to honor someone for the rest of us is very touching.

I know that you miss your Friday Night's and that you can not bring them back. But, you can continue them still. Your the F-I-L now. Where is your sons and sons in laws? What a great legacy.

TechnoBabe said...

Wonderful post and I enjoyed the fact that your husband wrote a guest post on your blog and he wrote with honesty and emotion about your father. It is a testament to your dad that you and your husband will be sitting around all these years later and speak of your dad and still miss him.

Jenny said...

What a wonderful post. I'm sorry for the loss you all suffered. It sounds like this wonderful man has certainly earned immortality through the eyes of his loved ones. Thank you for sharing this.

Vicki Lane said...

What a fine tribute!

Vicki Lane said...

What a fine tribute!

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

I hope one day my children will listen for my footfalls, or my voice over the phone or the sight of my little gray truck with me behind the wheel. And hope it is with as much love as you remember your Dad.
Mona

Matty said...

It's special to have that kind of relationship with your in-laws. Not everyone is so fortunate. Cherish the memories.

Joanna Jenkins said...

What a heartfelt tribute. It's great that you all had such a wonderful relationship. I can see why Gene's memory lives on.
Cheers, jj

Ms. Woods said...

It's very difficult to express just how much Grandpa Clawson meant to us, but I think you do a great job Dad. I'm proud of you for expressing how you felt about him; I know you can be shy about things like that sometimes, but it's another testament to how great he was that you wrote a tribute. He was that man who never met a stranger, who would give anyone the shirt off his back, who made friends everywhere he went. I miss his "I love you too, Sweetheart" just as much as Emily. No one gave hugs better than Grandpa Clawson, either. He just enveloped you with his arms, and you knew you were loved. I dreamed about him the other day, but I don't remember what I dreamed. I just woke up knowing he had been in my dream. But if I could pick out my dream tonight it would be one where he hugged me goodbye and whispered in my ear, "I love you too, Sweetheart." That is one of the things I miss the most.

She Writes said...

Lucky you all!

Cinner said...

This was wonderful to read, I am glad you have all these wonderful memories, a really nice tribute, take care.

blueviolet said...

How special that he has such fond memories of your dad! I love this!!!

Jingle said...

that's sweet.

Suldog said...

This spoke to me. My own father-in-law, Bill, was a swell man, a good friend, great sense of humor, and also died near to the same time as yours. Nice job!

Nancy said...

This a was a beautiful tribute to your father-in-law. I'm sure it would have made him very happy. I was blessed to have my husband love my Dad as well.

Closer to Lucy said...

What a blessing...can't say I relate though I do admire.

Marla said...

This post really blessed me. What a wonderful tribute. Relationships like this are beyond value. Thank you for sharing this.